My Mental State

My Biggest secret is the battle I have with myself daily, Why I have trust issues, what I see for my future and what I’m trying to remove from my life.

Depression and anxiety are very common illnesses and each of us experiencing it and handle it very differently.

The past 2 years of my life have been the most challenging years for me, having just come out as gay having a very public response and having a pressure to be happy and dealing with my own demons when in reality I wasnt truley happy I was just going with it.

Coming out was the best thing I have ever done it made me feel free but I still didnt feel accepted. Getting to know this new life and culture was a lot to process and take in and to have my own personal issues still at the back of my mind I accepted everything good and bad because everything was so new and I shouldn’t have I should have just trusted myself. Gay culture in Dublin is very different to what I expected and I still struggle to fit in or feel accepted which can be very hard and lonely. Living a new life after spending 26 years lying to yourself about who you are and creating toxic habits and defenses feels like you just sit and watch the world but never experience living. I’m posting this today because its mental health awareness month and a time we as people should look after each other and not think because something looks perfect on social media that everything is fine I’m not always fine and I use a lot of social media to shadow my real feelings and issues. I attend weekly counselling and each week I try rebuild myself and make changes, I have removed myself from situations I’m not comfortable in as hard as it is to do I’m finally trying to live for myself. I feel strong again but not completely and I want you to know I’m here as a support if you struggle too.

Mental illness is not a weakness each challenge we get past makes us stronger even when things can’t get any worse know that you’ve made it this far and survivors dont give up.

I have done an interview that will be published soon and open up about my issues and what I’m doing to overcome them. Surround yourself with people who care and understand and the people who actually care will already be by your side.

Let go of the things that hurt you because your worth more than that.

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